Annoying sayings

Some expressions don't make sense. Some expressions are stupid. Some expressions are confusing. And some expressions are just plain annoying.

.1. Better late then never.
What if the doctor arrives late and the guy is dead?

.2. Rules were meant to be broken.
Rules were made to be followed, moron. The only people who say this are people who either got caught or want someone else to get caught.

.3.The pen is mightier then the sword.
Bring it. We'll see what happens when I slice off your hands.

.4. Where there's a will, there's a way.
Yeah, I'm so sure people tell themselves this when they are trapped in a fiery fire that surrounds them when they're 18 stories up.

.5. Like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Who the hell looks for a needle in a haystack? Why did they have a needle in a barn? Why do they even have a barn? Just go buy a new needle, it's probably like, 2 cents.

.6. What's done is done.
Thanks Captain Obvious!

.7. Life is short.
Life is the longest damn thing you can experience . Shut up.

.8. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.
If you've told me once, you've told me once. Learn to count.

.9. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
I fail to see the worth of two birds in any bush. Or one in the hand for that matter. I hate birds.

.10. If it's not one thing it's another.
Brilliant. You truly have a genius mind. How on earth did you figure that one out?

.11. Get your goat.
I don't get it. What goat?

.12. No offence.
 Saying "no offense" does not make the offensive statement non-offensive or acceptable.When somebody uses that phrase, they are tacitly saying, "I know what I am about to say will offend you but I'm going to say it anyway". So basically, they're saying, "I'm going to be rude and I don't care what you think".

.13. You just want to have your cake and eat it too.
Damn straight. Cake is delicious, of course I want to eat it. 

.14. You're never fully dressed without a smile.
And yet, I appear to be clothed. I'll frown if I want to.


These are the phrases that attack me late at night and stab my mind with several forks.