Things TV has taught me

Television has taught me many things. You very well may believe that TV is just a box that melts your brain and leaves you with greasy hair and no social skills but you're wrong. I'm sorry, but you are. As you will see from the following list, TV is actually very valuable in teaching me extremely important things. Please see the following.

.1. Diseases.
Grey's Anatomy, one of my favourite shows, has taught me about a lot of diseases. Admittedly, it has convinced me at various times that I have lupus or schizophrenia or cancer. But that's okay. The point is I know more about diseases and can now cross certain diseases off the list of 'Diseases I possibly have'.

.2. I can't sing.
Every time I finish an episode of Glee, I feel inspired to belt out a song and dance around joyously. It usually only takes me a few verses to remind myself that I actually sound like a drowning cat with tonsillitis when I sing but it's a good lesson for me. That I can't sing and therefore will avoid all school musicals and karaoke nights in order to keep whatever is left of my dignity.

.3. Don't take drugs or alcohol or steal a car or be mean to the weird boy at school.
Thank you Degrassi. Thanks to you I will not:
-Jump off a bridge and end up in the hospital for the rest of my life.
-Make a fool of myself at a school dance and throw up.
-Pay hundreds of dollars to repair a car.
-Be  a victim of a school shooting.
True, you have made me cry in the past. Sob, actually. Weep, really. But let's be honest, most things make me cry. So I think I can forgive you for that in exchange for my health and good sense. So thank you Degrassi.

.4. Pop culture references and how to egg cars.
Gilmore Girls - so many pop culture references I can make thanks to this show. It has taught me good TV references, given me good music taste, taught me to talk faster and how to egg a car. Seriously. Also it has many, many cute boys, so, bonus.

.5. Benefits of reality TV.
Survivor, while some call it 'trashy' is actually quite informative. You may meet your future husband on an island. Eating bugs is sometimes necassary while trying to survive. Grab a chicken by the feet if you want to cook it and eat it. Don't backstab people or you'll be viciously attacked at Tribal Council.

.6. How to survive in deathly situations.
I Shouldn't Be Alive is this great show about people who get stuck in these crazy situations like getting lost in the amazon or getting stranded in the desert or on a island surrounded by shark invested waters and survive. And the best part is, they're all true stories! Seriously, this show rocks and I now know how to survive if I'm ever stranded in an active volcanoe.

.7. How to solve crimes.
Monk is this detective show about a private detective with OCD. I'm pretty sure I could basically be a detective, thanks to Monk. I swear, this show is actually what made me pass my year nine science exam. One section was on forensics and I didn't even study it - I already knew it all thanks to Monk. Seriously. Best show ever.

And that's just the start! So, as you can see, TV is helpful in teaching me...stuff.